it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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