Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
