i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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