Me too!
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
