"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
