well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Randomize
