a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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