I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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