You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
