i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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