:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
