sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
