considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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