Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
