can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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