Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
