omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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