Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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