Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
