As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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