did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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