How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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