I could make wine with my vomit
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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