bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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