I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
