And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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