Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
