And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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