Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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