what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
tell me about the eggs
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
