Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
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