Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
