at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
The adults are the big ones right?
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