Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
A bitchslap is in order.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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