definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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