she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
