But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
