i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
