But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
