Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
