Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
