Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
