Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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