I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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