I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
