Your mouth is God's brothel.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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