okay pat passed out under dana's car
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
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