Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
too bad you live with your parents still
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
