They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
