Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
