What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
