You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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