i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
