If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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