Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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