fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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