She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just pee around me
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
