I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
