why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just cut my nipple shaving
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
