My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
What changed your mind?
Being sober
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
