i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
