everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
