if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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