This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
